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Jul 28

Shame, Shame…

OK, so it’s been a long time coming… but here’s part 2 from the previous blog! That same night at the mall with the fam, we went to Justice to look at bathing suits for the trip. While the girls were in the changerooms, there was another mom sitting beside me waiting for her kids, so we started chatting. My girls (they are 10 and 12) came out and we talked about whether they were happy with their suits. At almost the same time, 2 little girls (maybe about 5 and 7?) came out of the changeroom next door and began asking the mom beside me if they could buy the suits they had on. So far, a normal experience.

But here’s the thing: my girls were in one-pieces and tankinis where no midriffs were showing. The lady beside me was obviously self-conscious about the fact that her girls were trying on triangle bikinis. She immediately began explaining that she knew the suits were inappropriate and that she shouldn’t be buying them but the girls were super excited and asked for them.

I mean…. This is another mom! We are equals. Both busy, tired women doing our best. She certainly doesn’t owe me any explanations. It doesn’t offend me if her girls wear bikinis, in fact, it doesn’t have any effect on my life at all. However, it’s a sad state of affairs when you think you have to defend your parenting choices to another random mom at the mall.

Of course I did not mom-shame her. I did not even hint that I thought her choice was wrong… Who am I to judge? In fact, I had just come from a situation when I was in her shoes.

The point of this story and of many of my stories is that we are a group of women with something important in common. We are Moms. Connected in a way that no other community can be, so why do we constantly make each other feel bad and guilty?

Stay tuned for the next blog, where I give you a list of some of my favourite bloggers and sites that are working on building women and moms up, on forming healthy and supportive communities – while laughing at ourselves.

Duuude. You only get one shot at life. I’m not wasting it being on either side of the mom-shaming game. Or any kind of shaming, for that matter. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

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